Category Archives: Relationship Issues

How many therapy sessions will I need?

How many therapy sessions will I need?

Most of my new clients ask me: “How many therapy sessions will I need?”  To which I usually reply:  “Somewhere between a few and many”.  It depends on whether you align with the ‘illness’ or ‘wellness’ model of therapy.  Hopefully, this article will answer your question:

Old wooden bridge through forest - Your therapy journey with Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling North Brisbane

It depends on your goals for therapy

Do you want help or support getting over one particular issue in your life, e.g. the break up a relationship, or perhaps to alleviate some unpleasant symptoms?  This is like going to see a doctor about an illness.  In this scenario, I would recommend just as many sessions as you need until you start to feel more stabilized or until your symptoms are reduced.  

But if you follow the ‘wellness’ model then your therapy is more like going to the gym. It is an ongoing work in progress. You go to therapy to work through things as they arise, develop deeper connections with those you care about, and generally improve your quality of life. 

We can look deeper into your core beliefs, the patterns of your relationships and your past. All of which unconsciously affects your life in the present day. 

It depends on how deeply you want to learn about yourself and the way you inhabit this world

Do you just want to put on an emotional band-aid? Or do you want to examine the wound, carefully treating it so that it will heal and cause less pain in your life?   Not everyone is ready to do this.  It takes courage, time and insight.  If you want to learn about the most fascinating subject on the planet  – yourself – then give me a call.

Negative thoughts, unhelpful beliefs, self-sabotaging patterns – these are all things that we can look into in long-term work.  But it’s not a quick fix. 

If you have grown into a way of ‘being’ or a pattern of behaving during the 20/30/40/50 years that you’ve been on this planet, then it’s unlikely we’ll be able to eradicate that in the click of my fingers. 

As it took time to create those patterns of thinking, so will it take time to undo them, learning new neural pathways, trying out new ways of behaving.

Some clients stay in treatment for six months, some for a few years because they find they get so much out of it.

I created the following image to help you understand how might feel after a certain amount of sessions.  The risk is that if you stop too soon, then you may lapse back into familiar (unhelpful) patterns when the next trigger occurs.  (But you can always come back and see me and work on your ‘stuff’ again.)

An illustration of the therapy journey - Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling North Brisbane

If you would like to ask me what Counselling or body psychotherapy is all about, I offer a FREE 20 minute discovery session by phone/skype for new clients.  You can also book this online by clicking the button below.

BOOK ONLINE

Alternatively call me for a chat on 0450 22 00 59 and ask me how I can help you.

How frequently do I need therapy sessions? Weekly? Fortnightly?

I like to suggest that all new clients come to see me weekly for a few sessions, just so we can make some headway.  Especially so if they are in a crisis.   In the beginning, it’s all about getting to know each other so that I know and understand you, and you know and trust me and it helps if we keep some momentum going.   

After that initial phase, I prefer clients to attend fortnightly so that we continue to make progress.  You are learning a new skill, just like learning a new sport or musical instrument, so keeping a regular session is key to your progression.  If you would like to reserve the same time slot each week or fortnight please let me know and I can book it for you. But this depends on your personal circumstances. 

It depends on your personal circumstances

How many therapy sessions you have also depends on your circumstances:  your availability, your finances, your personal situation.

Sometimes people take a break and come back to me later when they have more time and money, or if they have another issue crop up that they need help with.  I’m always happy to see a familiar face return and hear what they’ve been up to.

How do I know when it’s time to end therapy?

When you think you’ve achieved all you wanted, tell me about it in your session and we can discuss a closure session so that you walk away feeling empowered and good about yourself.  (The opposite of how you would feel if you just walked away).

I’ve written a blog all about this very subject “How to end therapy well” (2 min read).

If you’re not ready to book just now, you can sign up to my monthly client newsletter and see what I’m sending my clients.  I never give away contact details and you can unsubscribe at any time.

How many therapy sessions will I need? was last modified: October 7th, 2019 by Sarah Tuckett

Dealing with the aftermath of domestic violence

Dealing with the aftermath of domestic violence

I wish that this wasn’t the case, but I’m currently helping a few clients deal with situations of domestic violence.  Some still in the danger zone.  Others now in a place of safety.  But all of them dealing with the aftermath of domestic violence. 

Each time I hear stories of domestic violence, my inner Wonder Woman wants to protect the victims and annihilate the perpetrators.

The reason it generates so many feelings in me is because for a brief, but terrifying period, domestic violence affected my family too.

Dealing with the aftermath of domestic violence - Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling, North Brisbane

When I was in my early teens a member of my family dated an asshole.  Whenever she tried to leave him he punched her in the face.  I never witnessed the domestic violence first hand, just the ensuing black eyes, tears and confusion each time she took him back out of sheer terror.  

Even if I had witnessed the violence first hand, I’m sure I would have been frozen to the spot in fear, but I carry with me this strange mixture of guilt for not having protected her somehow, and fury at him for having picked on someone so small and vulnerable.

Whenever these feelings arise from my unconscious I work through them in a safe, therapeutic way with my own therapist, so that my own ‘stuff’ doesn’t get in the way of helping my clients. 

I metaphorically “killed” him in my early psychotherapy training.  The full force of my teenage feelings resurfaced 30 years later as I let out my anger in a safe, therapeutic space.

See below examples of me using a foam baton against a foam cube or punching a punchbag.   These are some of the tools I use in body psychotherapy – you can find more about this here.

Punching out anger in a therapeutic space - Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling, Shorncliffe QLD 4017
Photo by Heros Gnesotto

 

Dealing with the aftermath of domestic violence: Hitting the cube to release tension in the body - Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling, North Brisbane Dealing with the aftermath of domestic violence - hitting the foam cube to release tension in the body - Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling, North Brisbane

Obviously I didn’t want to really kill him. I’m not a violent person.  However, part of me wanted him to hurt as much as he had hurt her. 

My rage exhausted, I sobbed and sobbed. Tears of frustration that there was no one there to protect us.  Tears of grief for not having been able to protect her, even though I was little and needed protecting myself. 

Having processed these historical emotions that were trapped in my body and mind, the feelings have less hold on me.  I am able to help others without getting triggered.   

Now as a therapist myself, I have the tools to help other people through the aftermath of domestic violence. At times my role is just to provide emotional and psychological support to get them ready to leave (if that is what they want).  And at other times we may work through feelings of fear, grief, guilt and anger. 

Get emotional and psychological support to leave a situation of domestic violence from Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling, North Brisbane

So if you are a victim of domestic violence yourself – male or female, or just a witness like me, please know that you don’t have to live with the aftermath of domestic violence in your system – you can get emotional and psychological support – from a counsellor, from helplines and legal advice. 

Here are some helpful contacts for Queensland:

 

DV Connect (for both male and female victims of domestic violence)

Womens Line:  1800 811 811 Queensland-wide. Calls are free from any public phone (24×7)  http://www.dvconnect.org/womensline/

Mens Line:  1800 600 636  Queensland-wide service that operates between the hours of 9am and midnight, 7 days a week.  http://www.dvconnect.org/mensline/

 

Womens Legal Service Helpline

T:  1800 WLS WLS (1800 957 957)  Monday – Friday: 9am – 3pm. 

https://www.wlsq.org.au/

Rural, Regional & Remote Legal Advice Line – 1800 457 117 Tuesday: 9.30am – 1.30pm

 

If you would like some help from me in dealing with the aftermath of domestic violence please book in using my online calendar.

BOOK ONLINE

Or give me a call on 0450 22 00 59.

 

Would you like to ask me what counselling or body psychotherapy is all about? I offer a FREE 20 minute discovery session by phone/skype for new clients.  You can also book this online by clicking the button below.

 

BOOK ONLINE

 

Alternatively call me for a chat on 0450 22 00 59 and ask me how I can help you.

 

If you’re not ready to book just now, you can sign up to my monthly client newsletter and see what I’m sending my clients.  I never give away contact details and you can unsubscribe at any time.

 

 

 

Dealing with the aftermath of domestic violence was last modified: October 27th, 2017 by Sarah Tuckett

A problem shared

A problem shared (internet dating horror stories)

“A problem shared is a problem halved” goes the old English saying.  I heartily agree with that one.  This is not just because I’m a psychotherapist and I know that just talking to someone about your problems can be enough to help you feel better; but because I’ve had my own personal experience of this recently. 

I have entered the world of internet dating.  (Shudder).  I was finding it overwhelming, demoralizing and down right depressing.  However, I found that sharing the stories of outrageous untruths and appalling coffee dates with my own therapist has helped me cope better with it.  My resilience has increased and I’m hanging in there.   Talking to someone can really help you carry on through tough times.   So I’m going to share them with you too.   A problem shared…..

A problem shared - talk through your problems with Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy North Brisbane

A few of my friends have met their partners online.  So I know in theory that it can work really well.  It’s just I’m having such a vile time of it because apparently in the online dating world it’s perfectly normal to be a complete liar pants and not even blink when you’re caught out.  

I’m hoping to meet someone who shares my core values and blah blah you know the drill.  But it turns out the gentlemen are not entirely honest in their profiles and it’s beginning to feel like a futile endeavour. 

Every unwanted advance from a Sexagenarian bikie without a basic command of English grammar or high school certificate, makes my self-confidence erode even further.  “Is this all I’m worth?” a snide little voice inside me says.  What exactly do they think we have in common?  A shared passion for Ballet?

A problem shared - talk about your problems with Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling in Shorncliffe 4017 + A problem shared - talking about your problems with a counsellor can help you feel better - speak to Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling in North Brisbane 

 

I went on a date last month with a gentleman to a rather nice bar in James St.  During the date he asked: “Would you mind if I just went outside and bummed a cigarette off someone, I’m trying to quit at the moment”. 

I was confused not just because I wouldn’t normally agree to go out with a smoker – it’s one of my deal breakers – but because as he walked away I could see that he had a full packet of cigs in his trouser pocket.  Liar liar, pants literally on fire.  

A problem shared - share your woes in confidence with a qualified counsellor - speak to Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling in Shorncliffe North Brisbane

Last week I went out for a delicious Turkish meal with a not-so-delicious gentleman.  His profile said he was 46 and the photographs seemed to tally.  However, in person he seemed substantially older that the photos. 

I like to give people leeway on the first date – nerves and all that – but when he started talking about his grandchildren and his recent colonoscopy I realised that he was probably nearer 66 than 46. 

As he relayed the intimate details of his rectal procedure over stuffed vine leaves, I plotted an elaborate plan to flee.  (I didn’t though… I’m too polite, and the humus was amazing).  But seriously, who talks about a colonoscopy on a first date?  People let’s keep the conversation away from your ‘date’ on a date!

At times this whole endeavour feels frustrating and futile.  However, sharing the tales of hilariously awful dates with my therapist makes it seem more a comedy than a drama, and I have the energy to persist and wade through the pond life.  Her support gets me through. 

And I think that’s what it’s about.  Reaching out for help when you need it so that you can keep going, even when the going gets tough.   

So if you’re having a tough time with online dating, or anything else for that matter, give me a call and share your woes.   As they say, a problem shared is a problem halved.

Sarah

P.S. People please stop lying on your dating profile.  We’re going to find out when we meet you in person.  So just cut it out smoky pants. 😉

Please give me a call on 0450 22 00 59 or have a look through my online diary to book a spot that works for you. 

 

BOOK ONLINE

 

I offer confidential counselling and body psychotherapy sessions to people who are going through a hard time.  There is no need for you to suffer dreadful dates in silence.  Speak to me and get some support.

If you’re feeling unsure, or want to ask me what counselling or body psychotherapy is all about, I offer a FREE 20 minute discovery session by phone/skype for new clients.  You can also book this online by clicking the button below.

 

BOOK ONLINE

 

Alternatively call me for a chat on 0450 22 00 59 and ask me how I can help you.

 

If you’re not ready to book just now, you can sign up to my monthly client newsletter and see what I’m sending my clients.  I never give away contact details and you can unsubscribe at any time.

 

 

 

A problem shared was last modified: October 17th, 2017 by Sarah Tuckett

It’s time to speak up

It’s time to speak up

A friend of mine created the excellent campaign “It’s ok to say” (if you don’t feel ok).  It’s about letting people know that you have anxiety and/or depression so that you’re not going through this alone.  But with the news of women in Hollywood speaking up against Harvey Weinstein, it got me thinking about other matters we don’t speak up about: bullying, unwanted attention, loneliness, abuse or things that scare us.   It’s time to speak up and get some help. 

There is so much we don’t say.  And so many reasons why we don’t.  Fear that we won’t be believed. Second-guessing ourselves (‘maybe I did something to create that situation …?’)  Fear of rejection, isolation, loosing our job, or being ostracized.  But people it’s time to tell someone.  It’s time to speak up when something’s not ok.   

 

It's time to speak up - speak to Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling in Shorncliffe North Brisbane

I once had to speak up at work about a man who had showered me with unwanted attention on my morning commute in London.  And I’m so glad I did, because it short-circuited his campaign of lecherous advances.

For days I had unsuccessfully tried to avoid this guy on the little shuttle train from Clapham Junction to Olympia. He worked on the floor above me for a different company, but I saw him every morning on that commuter train and the walk to the office.  

He seemed oblivious of my increasingly not-so subtle body language:  putting up the Metro newspaper in-front of my face to physically block him out, wearing earphones and avoiding eye contact.  At night-time I had to walk for 30 minutes across Clapham Common on my own and I was terrified he would follow me across the dark, empty parkland.  I had even stopped going out at lunch on my own in case he was waiting for me. Yet I told no one.

It's time to speak up - speak to Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling North Brisbane

He finally got the message on the day that I waited until he had gotten onto the train and then ran along the platform and ducked into another carriage.   When I got to work there was a barrage of emails from him to my work account starting with the words “Never have I been so offended….”

Until then I hadn’t told a soul.  Not my friends, not my flatmates, not my co-workers.  I’m not sure why.  Perhaps because I wasn’t sure I wasn’t making a mountain out of a molehill.  I remember also feeling embarrassment and shame.  Surely I should be a big girl and fix this by myself.   

Don't stay silent - it's time to speak up.  Get help from Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling in North Brisbane

One of my male co-workers must have seen my face because he asked me what was going on.  I explained and showed him the email.  He asked if he could reply on my behalf.  I said yes.  Before I knew it he had typed “F…  Off” and pressed send.  I was petrified of the repercussions.  What would this man do now that I had been so direct?   Nothing it turned out, because he was a creep who shriveled the moment I stood up to him.

With my colleague’s encouragement, I told our HR person.  They talked to his HR person and started an inquiry.  Within 24 hours they found out that he had harassed every female in his firm with the exception of the PA to the CEO.  And he was newly married (poor woman).  A’hole. 

No one had spoken up before.  It took my complaint for them to come out of the woodwork and talk to each other.   He ended up being fired from his job and we were free to catch the train in peace. 

It's time to speak up. No need to suffer in silence. Get help.  Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling North Brisbane

We’re all terrified of being rejected, harassed, laughed at even.  But if you speak up, there’s a chance you can help yourself and maybe others.   So speak to someone. Tell someone if you’re not ok.  Tell your friend, a family member or a work colleague.  Or find someone neutral and non-judgmental like a counsellor.  Just make sure you speak up.

 

Sarah x

If you would like to speak up to me give me a call  on 0450 22 00 59 or have a look through my online diary to book a spot that works for you. 

I offer confidential counselling and body psychotherapy sessions to people who are going through a hard time, whether that’s because of a situation (relationship issues, bullying, abuse, isolation) or because of a mental health issue like anxiety or depressionThere is no need for you to suffer in silence.  Speak up and get some help.

If you’re feeling unsure, or want to ask me what anxiety counselling or body psychotherapy is all about, I offer a FREE 20 minute discovery session by phone/skype for new clients.  You can also book this online by clicking the button below.

 

BOOK ONLINE

 

Alternatively call me for a chat on 0450 22 00 59 and ask me how I can help you.

 

If you’re not ready to book just now, you can sign up to my monthly client newsletter and see what I’m sending my clients.  I never give away contact details and you can unsubscribe at any time.

 

 

It’s time to speak up was last modified: October 16th, 2017 by Sarah Tuckett

How counselling can help you avoid family court

How counselling can help you avoid family court – from a Brisbane Family Lawyer

Guest blog by Jennifer Hetherington of Hetherington Family Law

Jennifer Hetherington of Hetherington Family Law, Brisbane

Tonight I saw a post in a Facebook group of which I am a member along the lines of the following: “Has anyone been successful with marriage counselling? We’re not thinking divorce, just looking for something to help us get through the repetitive, cyclical, blame game, same arguments over the years that never get resolved and fester until the next time one of us gets angry. I don’t want to end my marriage, I’m trying to save it.”

Over the 20 odd years that I have been practising as a specialist family lawyer, I have encountered many clients who have never been to counselling. I always ask clients whether or not they had counselling for their relationship issues, but sadly, the answer is often no. This is something I’ve never been able to understand. If your marriage is on the verge on the breakdown and going to counselling to deal with your relationship issues gave you an opportunity to save it, why would you not try counselling?

How counselling can help you avoid family court - Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling

It’s actually a legal requirement for family lawyers to recommend separating parties attend counselling. However, by the time they come to see us, the damage is often done. On more occasions than I can remember, I have had female clients come to me and when I’ve asked them the question about counselling, their response has been along the lines of, “My husband refused to go.” The other response has been to the tune of, “He said that I was the one who need counselling, not him or us.”  

But the post I saw on Facebook tonight was not about counselling at the end of relationship. It was about a woman saying, “Hey, no marriage is perfect. We have our ups and downs just like anyone else but there’s a recurring theme here with some relationship issues and I’d really just like to deal with it so that we can move past it and just get on with things.”

This, of course, is the kind of thing that the Americans do. Anyone who’s seen an ongoing programme like Sex in the City (now I am showing my age) knows that every second person in New York City has a ‘therapist’. It is about dealing with problems in our lives and relationship issues as they arise, not waiting for a wound to fester.  If your spouse won’t go to counselling with you, them why would you not go to counselling on your own?    It’s not a sign a weakness or that there is something wrong with you. It’s about getting strategies to deal with relationship issues, how you might raise those with your partner in a constructive way and what to do if those issues are not resolved. Going to a counsellor does not make you ‘mentally ill’. Rather, it makes you someone who has insight into your own functioning and has a desire to be the best possible person, parent and partner you can be.

How counselling can help you avoid family court - get help with relationship issues with Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling

If you do separate, then counselling is just as important and is something I encourage for all my family law clients.   Divorce is one of the most stressful life experiences you can have.  Everyone goes through a cycle of grief.  Some handle it better than others.  The ones I have seen handle it best, are the ones who go to counselling.   They have an outlet to talk about what is going on and an unbiased ear.   Family and friends are well-meaning during a divorce, but they can’t give you the independent perspective that a counsellor can.

Those who love you may also grow tired of hearing about your heartbreak or the issues you are having with your ex.   Why not preserve those relationships as positive, to help you move forward, and save the angst for counselling?

One of the dangers that arises is where separated parents find themselves headed to the Family Court.   The relationship between them has become so toxic that they cannot talk to each other.  Invariably, there is underlying emotion driving this.

Family law clients who have been deeply hurt or betrayed – for example, if there has been an affair can be so consumed by anger, jealousy and pain, that they are blinded by it.   They cannot see past those emotions and create a relationship with the other parent that sees them headed straight towards the Family Court.   Those clients who work in counselling to get through those emotions and move forward, are most likely to avoid the Family Court. 

Similarly, family law clients dealing with a narcissistic or high conflict ex, can benefit from counselling to obtain strategies on how to deal with that person.  

You do not have to ‘go it alone’ if you are having relationship issues.  Ending a long term relationship is a big step and counselling can only assist with the decision making process.  

If you are separated, then counselling can offer valuable insight and assistance, and help you avoid the Family Court.

 

Jennifer Hetherington is an Accredited Family Law Specialist with over 20 years experience.  She heads Hetherington Family Law a Brisbane family law firm focusing on keeping clients out of court, their motto being ‘Conflict is not inevitable’. 

Jennifer is Winner of the Sole Practitioner of the Year in the 2017 Lawyers Weekly Australian Law Awards 

Avoid going to court - see Hetherington Family Law

 

 

If you would like to see Sarah for counselling for relationship issues, please book online  or call her on 0450 22 00 59.

I offer a FREE 20 minute discovery session for new clients.  You can also book this online.

If you’re not ready to book just now, you can sign up to my monthly client newsletter and see what I’m sending my clients.  I never give away contact details and you can unsubscribe at any time.

 

How counselling can help you avoid family court was last modified: September 19th, 2017 by Sarah Tuckett

An Emotional Survival Guide for Christmas

An Emotional Survival Guide for Christmas

Emotional Survival Guide to Christmas

This Emotional Survival Guide to Christmas has been written to help you navigate difficult emotions over the ‘silly season’.

Whether you are feeling anxious, stressed, lonely, sad, or suicidal even, here are my tips for getting through the next few weeks:

1. Anxious?  Put your head down towards the ground

Christmas Emotional Survival Guide

Are you freaking out in advance about family visiting?  Are you breathing 5 billion breaths a minute? Is your throat tight?  Is your chest feeling constricted?  Are you feeling like you’re going to implode?

Find a quiet space and hang the top half of your body down towards the ground.

Waterfall pose

The pose is called The Waterfall.  I’ve written an article to explain why it’s good for counteracting anxiety and how to do it (assuming that you’re not a Cirque du Soleil performer). 

Give it a go and notice how heavy the top half of your body feels as it bows to the forces of gravity (a complete opposite to how ‘spacey’ and disconnected your head feels when you’re anxious).  How your diaphragm is more relaxed. How your throat is more open.

It’s really hard to have anxious thoughts when your head is upside down.  Give it a go. I dare you!

2. Catastrophizing?  Ask yourself: “Is that really true?  Or am I exaggerating?”

45647769 - render illustration of radioactive warning sign

When we’re stressing out, it’s easy to catastrophize.  “OMG if I don’t get the meal PERFECT the Monster-in-law’s going to sit there with that smug “I knew you wouldn’t be able to pull it together” face and .. and… and…. “

We create stories in our head before they’ve even happened.  But is that really true?  Is it likely to happen? Or are you exaggerating?

Ask yourself that very simple question and see if you can stop the BS in its tracks.

3. Angry? Bash a punchbag/cushion/have a toddler tantrum on your bed

Hitting the sofa with cushions is another way to safely let out anger

I’m not kidding.  If you hold all that rage down, you risk it leaking out at inappropriate moments.  One snarky comment about the turkey can totally ruin Christmas lunch believe me.

I’ve written a guide to show you how to safely release your anger without hurting yourself (or anyone else) and without embarrassing yourself.

4. Comforting yourself with food? Put the mince pie down.  

Mince pie
Step away from the clotted cream..

Find other ways to comfort yourself.  Here’s my personal Lemon Day list of things I can do to comfort myself instead of reaching for the ice-cream.  Have a printed-out list stuck on your fridge door to stop you instantly reaching for the mince pies.

But then again, it’s Christmas … maybe a couple of mince pies isn’t too bad.  (Just stay away from the clotted cream).

5. Stressed? Earth yourself: get grounded and breathe

Earth yourself
Earth yourself

Are you running around at a million miles an hour to get everything done?  Is your house in a state of upheaval because of visitors?

STOP for a minute.

  • Take off your shoes.
  • Walk outside and focus on the sensation of the grass beneath your feet.  (Even if your lawn is less ‘deliciously springy Sir Walter’, and more ‘Bindi-Cobblers Pegs scrub’ – find somewhere pleasant to stand and focus on the sensations beneath your feet. I particularly like warm concrete in the early evening for example.)
  • Now breathe….  Go on, give me a big sigh on your out-breath.
  • Let all that stuff go for a minute…
  • Focus on what you can feel in your body.
  • It’s just you and the ground.  Everything else is irrelevant for a moment.

‘Earthing’ isn’t just for hippies.  Focusing on the physical contact with the ground will bring your awareness out of your head and down into your body. We’re grounding you.  It brings you right into the present moment and makes you feel 100% less stressed.

6. Lonely? Reach out to people you are emotionally close to

Loneliness

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, loneliness can strike hard at this time of year.  Reaching out to anyone is good, but reaching out to people that you have a close emotional relationship with is preferable because they understand you/get you/speak your language.

Getting help

So reach out to your close friend(s).  And if the first person on your list doesn’t pick up, leave a message and then call the next person on your friend list.  Keep going till you get a real live person. Tell them how you’re feeling and ask if they want to hang out.

Right about here is where your inner depresso may spark up and say “But they’re busy with their family.  They won’t want to see me”.  Don’t listen to him/her.  

Inner Depresso

 These people are your close friends.  They know you.  They LIKE you.  Do you think they’d want you to be all on your own feeling bad?

Call them up.  You never know, they could be feeling exactly the same way as you.

And if you really don’t want to tell a friend?  Call a helpline.  They’re not just for people who are feeling suicidal – they’re also there to help people who are struggling.  The numbers are listed below.

7. Suicidal?  Call a helpline (no matter what time of day or night)

18364958 - unhappy

This is where I’m going to be a little firm with you. Some part of you wants to live because you’re reading this message.   So I need you to reach out and tell someone how you’re feeling.

Tell your friend, a family member, your GP.  Call a helpline.  The people on the end of the phone at these helplines want to help you. They want to hear your story (no matter how boring you might think it is). They’re trained professionals.

Your life is too important.  CALL THEM.

Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
Lifeline  13 11 14
Diverse Voices (LGBT)  (diversevoices.org.au)  7pm to 10pm daily 1800 184 527
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800
Parent Line 1300 30 1300
SANE helpline  1800 187 263
Men’s Line  1300 78 99 78
DV Connect – womensline 1800 811 811
DV connect – mensline 1800 600 636
MARS – men affected by rape and sexual assault  07 3857 1222
BRISSC Brisbane Rape and Incest helpline (female only)  9am-1pm Mon-Thur 07 3391 0004

I hope this list helps you.  Feel free to share it.

I’m working right up until Christmas Day.  Here’s a link to book online to see me.  Or you can call me on 0450 22 00 59.

If you want to find out more about my Services or the benefits of psychotherapy or counselling, feel free to have a peek around my website.

I’ll then be taking a break to recharge until 18 January 2017.  I have a network of psychologist and psychotherapist pals in Brisbane who would love to help you whilst I am away.  Give me a call to talk about finding someone to help you.

Sarah

An Emotional Survival Guide for Christmas was last modified: December 13th, 2018 by Sarah Tuckett