Category Archives: Body psychotherapy

Emotional eating (and how to stop)

Emotional eating (and how to stop)

Do you struggle with food cravings?  I do.  I’m an emotional eater but learning the neuroscience and psychology of emotional eating has helped me quit.

Brownies are not a girls best friend. If you want help with emotional eating then speak to Sarah Tuckett
Photo by Rasmus Mikkelstrup on Unsplash

People always assume that a therapist totally has their act together, but we’re human beings just like you. If I’ve had a tough day ice cream soothes my worries away.  Missing my family overseas? Chocolate brownies make me feel loved.   Delicious, but not at all healthy and this emotional eating is the reason my jeans kept getting tighter.   But I recently found an eating plan that is working – and it’s because it is based on the psychology and neuroscience of eating.

I say ‘eating plan’ because I don’t ‘do’ diets.  I’ve only done two in my whole 47 years on the planet and every cell of my brain rebelled against the food restriction.  “What do you mean I can’t eat cheese whenever I want??  FK YOU!”  For me it was like DIE with a T on the end.  I’d rather slog away in the gym for hours than restrict my source of pleasure.  Whilst that may have somehow worked in 30’s, it no longer worked in my 40’s.  Recently, however, a friend told me about Bright Line Eating Plan and so far I have lost weight, my emotional eating has reduced to ZERO and there’s no part of my brain that is rebelling.   It’s not about willpower……  It’s about planning.

Bright Line Eating is the program run by Dr Susan Peirce Thompson. She has a Ph.D. in Brain and Cognitive Sciences and was a psychology professor.  Her expertise is the neuroscience and psychology of food addiction and sustainable weight loss and she has done heaps of research on why and how people loose weight (and why they don’t).  I found out that I am a 7 (out of 10) in her susceptibility scale (gasp!), which helps me understand why I can consume the entire block of chocolate-covered marzipan without even blinking.  It also means that Persian Love Cake is my own personal form of heroin. 

I joined her 14 day challenge for $29 USD and those numbers on the scale decreased and made me dance around the kitchen like a lunatic.  (I admit that I do this most days just for the sheer joy of being able to dance!)  However, the most important thing is that I’ve stopped the emotional eating.   Dr Thompson’s daily 5 minute videos helped me with my ‘food thoughts’ and and what to do to get through it.

I have absolutely no affiliation with the Bright Line Eating program other than my own participation.  I’m sharing this info because it worked for me and maybe it might work for you.  And I think this lady is amazing!

I still talk to my own therapist about the underlying issues – the things that are making me sad, lonely or exhausted.  If you would like to talk to me about your emotional eating and the underlying issues in your life that are upsetting you, give me a call on 0450 22 00 59 or book into my diary using this link.

If you would like to find out more about how body psychotherapy or counselling could help you, look here

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Emotional eating (and how to stop) was last modified: August 17th, 2018 by Sarah Tuckett

A problem shared

A problem shared (internet dating horror stories)

“A problem shared is a problem halved” goes the old English saying.  I heartily agree with that one.  This is not just because I’m a psychotherapist and I know that just talking to someone about your problems can be enough to help you feel better; but because I’ve had my own personal experience of this recently. 

I have entered the world of internet dating.  (Shudder).  I was finding it overwhelming, demoralizing and down right depressing.  However, I found that sharing the stories of outrageous untruths and appalling coffee dates with my own therapist has helped me cope better with it.  My resilience has increased and I’m hanging in there.   Talking to someone can really help you carry on through tough times.   So I’m going to share them with you too.   A problem shared…..

A problem shared - talk through your problems with Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy North Brisbane

A few of my friends have met their partners online.  So I know in theory that it can work really well.  It’s just I’m having such a vile time of it because apparently in the online dating world it’s perfectly normal to be a complete liar pants and not even blink when you’re caught out.  

I’m hoping to meet someone who shares my core values and blah blah you know the drill.  But it turns out the gentlemen are not entirely honest in their profiles and it’s beginning to feel like a futile endeavour. 

Every unwanted advance from a Sexagenarian bikie without a basic command of English grammar or high school certificate, makes my self-confidence erode even further.  “Is this all I’m worth?” a snide little voice inside me says.  What exactly do they think we have in common?  A shared passion for Ballet?

A problem shared - talk about your problems with Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling in Shorncliffe 4017 + A problem shared - talking about your problems with a counsellor can help you feel better - speak to Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling in North Brisbane 

 

I went on a date last month with a gentleman to a rather nice bar in James St.  During the date he asked: “Would you mind if I just went outside and bummed a cigarette off someone, I’m trying to quit at the moment”. 

I was confused not just because I wouldn’t normally agree to go out with a smoker – it’s one of my deal breakers – but because as he walked away I could see that he had a full packet of cigs in his trouser pocket.  Liar liar, pants literally on fire.  

A problem shared - share your woes in confidence with a qualified counsellor - speak to Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling in Shorncliffe North Brisbane

Last week I went out for a delicious Turkish meal with a not-so-delicious gentleman.  His profile said he was 46 and the photographs seemed to tally.  However, in person he seemed substantially older that the photos. 

I like to give people leeway on the first date – nerves and all that – but when he started talking about his grandchildren and his recent colonoscopy I realised that he was probably nearer 66 than 46. 

As he relayed the intimate details of his rectal procedure over stuffed vine leaves, I plotted an elaborate plan to flee.  (I didn’t though… I’m too polite, and the humus was amazing).  But seriously, who talks about a colonoscopy on a first date?  People let’s keep the conversation away from your ‘date’ on a date!

At times this whole endeavour feels frustrating and futile.  However, sharing the tales of hilariously awful dates with my therapist makes it seem more a comedy than a drama, and I have the energy to persist and wade through the pond life.  Her support gets me through. 

And I think that’s what it’s about.  Reaching out for help when you need it so that you can keep going, even when the going gets tough.   

So if you’re having a tough time with online dating, or anything else for that matter, give me a call and share your woes.   As they say, a problem shared is a problem halved.

Sarah

P.S. People please stop lying on your dating profile.  We’re going to find out when we meet you in person.  So just cut it out smoky pants. 😉

Please give me a call on 0450 22 00 59 or have a look through my online diary to book a spot that works for you. 

 

BOOK ONLINE

 

I offer confidential counselling and body psychotherapy sessions to people who are going through a hard time.  There is no need for you to suffer dreadful dates in silence.  Speak to me and get some support.

If you’re feeling unsure, or want to ask me what counselling or body psychotherapy is all about, I offer a FREE 20 minute discovery session by phone/skype for new clients.  You can also book this online by clicking the button below.

 

BOOK ONLINE

 

Alternatively call me for a chat on 0450 22 00 59 and ask me how I can help you.

 

If you’re not ready to book just now, you can sign up to my monthly client newsletter and see what I’m sending my clients.  I never give away contact details and you can unsubscribe at any time.

 

 

 

A problem shared was last modified: October 17th, 2017 by Sarah Tuckett

It’s time to speak up

It’s time to speak up

A friend of mine created the excellent campaign “It’s ok to say” (if you don’t feel ok).  It’s about letting people know that you have anxiety and/or depression so that you’re not going through this alone.  But with the news of women in Hollywood speaking up against Harvey Weinstein, it got me thinking about other matters we don’t speak up about: bullying, unwanted attention, loneliness, abuse or things that scare us.   It’s time to speak up and get some help. 

There is so much we don’t say.  And so many reasons why we don’t.  Fear that we won’t be believed. Second-guessing ourselves (‘maybe I did something to create that situation …?’)  Fear of rejection, isolation, loosing our job, or being ostracized.  But people it’s time to tell someone.  It’s time to speak up when something’s not ok.   

 

It's time to speak up - speak to Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling in Shorncliffe North Brisbane

I once had to speak up at work about a man who had showered me with unwanted attention on my morning commute in London.  And I’m so glad I did, because it short-circuited his campaign of lecherous advances.

For days I had unsuccessfully tried to avoid this guy on the little shuttle train from Clapham Junction to Olympia. He worked on the floor above me for a different company, but I saw him every morning on that commuter train and the walk to the office.  

He seemed oblivious of my increasingly not-so subtle body language:  putting up the Metro newspaper in-front of my face to physically block him out, wearing earphones and avoiding eye contact.  At night-time I had to walk for 30 minutes across Clapham Common on my own and I was terrified he would follow me across the dark, empty parkland.  I had even stopped going out at lunch on my own in case he was waiting for me. Yet I told no one.

It's time to speak up - speak to Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling North Brisbane

He finally got the message on the day that I waited until he had gotten onto the train and then ran along the platform and ducked into another carriage.   When I got to work there was a barrage of emails from him to my work account starting with the words “Never have I been so offended….”

Until then I hadn’t told a soul.  Not my friends, not my flatmates, not my co-workers.  I’m not sure why.  Perhaps because I wasn’t sure I wasn’t making a mountain out of a molehill.  I remember also feeling embarrassment and shame.  Surely I should be a big girl and fix this by myself.   

Don't stay silent - it's time to speak up.  Get help from Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling in North Brisbane

One of my male co-workers must have seen my face because he asked me what was going on.  I explained and showed him the email.  He asked if he could reply on my behalf.  I said yes.  Before I knew it he had typed “F…  Off” and pressed send.  I was petrified of the repercussions.  What would this man do now that I had been so direct?   Nothing it turned out, because he was a creep who shriveled the moment I stood up to him.

With my colleague’s encouragement, I told our HR person.  They talked to his HR person and started an inquiry.  Within 24 hours they found out that he had harassed every female in his firm with the exception of the PA to the CEO.  And he was newly married (poor woman).  A’hole. 

No one had spoken up before.  It took my complaint for them to come out of the woodwork and talk to each other.   He ended up being fired from his job and we were free to catch the train in peace. 

It's time to speak up. No need to suffer in silence. Get help.  Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling North Brisbane

We’re all terrified of being rejected, harassed, laughed at even.  But if you speak up, there’s a chance you can help yourself and maybe others.   So speak to someone. Tell someone if you’re not ok.  Tell your friend, a family member or a work colleague.  Or find someone neutral and non-judgmental like a counsellor.  Just make sure you speak up.

 

Sarah x

If you would like to speak up to me give me a call  on 0450 22 00 59 or have a look through my online diary to book a spot that works for you. 

I offer confidential counselling and body psychotherapy sessions to people who are going through a hard time, whether that’s because of a situation (relationship issues, bullying, abuse, isolation) or because of a mental health issue like anxiety or depressionThere is no need for you to suffer in silence.  Speak up and get some help.

If you’re feeling unsure, or want to ask me what anxiety counselling or body psychotherapy is all about, I offer a FREE 20 minute discovery session by phone/skype for new clients.  You can also book this online by clicking the button below.

 

BOOK ONLINE

 

Alternatively call me for a chat on 0450 22 00 59 and ask me how I can help you.

 

If you’re not ready to book just now, you can sign up to my monthly client newsletter and see what I’m sending my clients.  I never give away contact details and you can unsubscribe at any time.

 

 

It’s time to speak up was last modified: October 16th, 2017 by Sarah Tuckett

How counselling can help you avoid family court

How counselling can help you avoid family court – from a Brisbane Family Lawyer

Guest blog by Jennifer Hetherington of Hetherington Family Law

Jennifer Hetherington of Hetherington Family Law, Brisbane

Tonight I saw a post in a Facebook group of which I am a member along the lines of the following: “Has anyone been successful with marriage counselling? We’re not thinking divorce, just looking for something to help us get through the repetitive, cyclical, blame game, same arguments over the years that never get resolved and fester until the next time one of us gets angry. I don’t want to end my marriage, I’m trying to save it.”

Over the 20 odd years that I have been practising as a specialist family lawyer, I have encountered many clients who have never been to counselling. I always ask clients whether or not they had counselling for their relationship issues, but sadly, the answer is often no. This is something I’ve never been able to understand. If your marriage is on the verge on the breakdown and going to counselling to deal with your relationship issues gave you an opportunity to save it, why would you not try counselling?

How counselling can help you avoid family court - Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling

It’s actually a legal requirement for family lawyers to recommend separating parties attend counselling. However, by the time they come to see us, the damage is often done. On more occasions than I can remember, I have had female clients come to me and when I’ve asked them the question about counselling, their response has been along the lines of, “My husband refused to go.” The other response has been to the tune of, “He said that I was the one who need counselling, not him or us.”  

But the post I saw on Facebook tonight was not about counselling at the end of relationship. It was about a woman saying, “Hey, no marriage is perfect. We have our ups and downs just like anyone else but there’s a recurring theme here with some relationship issues and I’d really just like to deal with it so that we can move past it and just get on with things.”

This, of course, is the kind of thing that the Americans do. Anyone who’s seen an ongoing programme like Sex in the City (now I am showing my age) knows that every second person in New York City has a ‘therapist’. It is about dealing with problems in our lives and relationship issues as they arise, not waiting for a wound to fester.  If your spouse won’t go to counselling with you, them why would you not go to counselling on your own?    It’s not a sign a weakness or that there is something wrong with you. It’s about getting strategies to deal with relationship issues, how you might raise those with your partner in a constructive way and what to do if those issues are not resolved. Going to a counsellor does not make you ‘mentally ill’. Rather, it makes you someone who has insight into your own functioning and has a desire to be the best possible person, parent and partner you can be.

How counselling can help you avoid family court - get help with relationship issues with Sarah Tuckett Psychotherapy and Counselling

If you do separate, then counselling is just as important and is something I encourage for all my family law clients.   Divorce is one of the most stressful life experiences you can have.  Everyone goes through a cycle of grief.  Some handle it better than others.  The ones I have seen handle it best, are the ones who go to counselling.   They have an outlet to talk about what is going on and an unbiased ear.   Family and friends are well-meaning during a divorce, but they can’t give you the independent perspective that a counsellor can.

Those who love you may also grow tired of hearing about your heartbreak or the issues you are having with your ex.   Why not preserve those relationships as positive, to help you move forward, and save the angst for counselling?

One of the dangers that arises is where separated parents find themselves headed to the Family Court.   The relationship between them has become so toxic that they cannot talk to each other.  Invariably, there is underlying emotion driving this.

Family law clients who have been deeply hurt or betrayed – for example, if there has been an affair can be so consumed by anger, jealousy and pain, that they are blinded by it.   They cannot see past those emotions and create a relationship with the other parent that sees them headed straight towards the Family Court.   Those clients who work in counselling to get through those emotions and move forward, are most likely to avoid the Family Court. 

Similarly, family law clients dealing with a narcissistic or high conflict ex, can benefit from counselling to obtain strategies on how to deal with that person.  

You do not have to ‘go it alone’ if you are having relationship issues.  Ending a long term relationship is a big step and counselling can only assist with the decision making process.  

If you are separated, then counselling can offer valuable insight and assistance, and help you avoid the Family Court.

 

Jennifer Hetherington is an Accredited Family Law Specialist with over 20 years experience.  She heads Hetherington Family Law a Brisbane family law firm focusing on keeping clients out of court, their motto being ‘Conflict is not inevitable’. 

Jennifer is Winner of the Sole Practitioner of the Year in the 2017 Lawyers Weekly Australian Law Awards 

Avoid going to court - see Hetherington Family Law

 

 

If you would like to see Sarah for counselling for relationship issues, please book online  or call her on 0450 22 00 59.

I offer a FREE 20 minute discovery session for new clients.  You can also book this online.

If you’re not ready to book just now, you can sign up to my monthly client newsletter and see what I’m sending my clients.  I never give away contact details and you can unsubscribe at any time.

 

How counselling can help you avoid family court was last modified: September 19th, 2017 by Sarah Tuckett

The waterfall – a pose to help with anxiety

The waterfall – a pose to help with anxiety

If you ever suffer from anxiety, whether it’s just low level worrying and rumination or a full-blown panic attack, you know that it’s not a pleasant sensation.   As a therapist I give people strategies to help with anxiety.  Here’s my favorite pose: the waterfall. 

 

 

When I’m feeling anxious I feel my chest constrict, my breathing becomes shallow and my thoughts are racing a  million miles an hour.  I repeat conversations or scenarios over and over again in my head.  Each time I think these things my nervous system releases more hormones keeping me in flight or fight mode, preparing me to swiftly evade grizzly bears.  However there are no bears.  Just my thoughts.  The quickest way to help myself out of this state of anxiety is to tip over and put my head upside down in a pose called the Waterfall, bringing my energy back down into my body, grounding myself and letting go.  

When you do this pose you’ll notice two things:

  1.  It’s really hard to have anxious thoughts when your head is upside down; and
  2. You feel much calmer when you’re earthed into the floor like a lightning conductor.

Help with anxiety - the Waterfall pose is a bioenergetic pose from Body Psychotherapy

Here’s how you do it:

  1. Find a quiet space and take off your shoes

When you’re feeling anxiety there’s a tendency to loose contact with your body, so feeling the floor beneath your feet is going to anchor you back into your body. i.e. ground you.

2. Stand with your feet hip width apart, toes slightly inwards

(That’s your ‘real’ hip width not the wishful thinking width).  Probably around two hand spans apart.   Making your toes turn inwards slightly will stretch some of your glute muscles.

3.  Bend forward and touch the ground with your finger tips

Slowly bend forward until you can touch the ground (bending your knees as much as you need to in order to touch down).  Make a little claw with your fingers and use them to anchor yourself down into the ground.  There should not be any weight in your hands.

4. Let your head and neck hang loosely

This is a pose of surrender; of letting go.   Do a few yes and no movements with your head to release the tension in your neck and then just let it hang.    When I do this pose I feel like my body is melting down towards the ground like a candle. 

5.  Breathe in and sigh out

Breath in through your nose and sigh out through your mouth. Letting go of everything. 

6.  Search for the sensation of vibration

What we’re aiming to do in this pose is let go in your muscles and in your mind.  We’re asking your mind and your muscles to relax and melt into the floor.  So we’re going to search for the sensation of your muscles letting go.  This feels like little vibrations up the back of your body.  It’s the opposite of having your muscles locked-up for strength.    Keep your knees soft (off-lock).  (All you yogis out there – this is different to Uttanasana – you’re aiming for softness not a hard stretch). Slowly straighten and bend your legs to find the place where your legs slightly vibrate.   Once you’ve found the place, just breathe into it. Breathing in through your nose and sighing out through your mouth.    If you don’t feel any vibrations, make your out-breath longer (it’s often hiding there).  And if you’re feeling adventurous you can gently lift your heels off the floor and bend and straighten your legs.      

7.  Hang out down here for 1-5 minutes

Depending on how much time you have, whether your nose clogs up upside-down,  or whether the phone rings.  Just hang out down here as long as you feel you want to.  Always come up slowly so that your blood pressure can equalise.  

8. Don’t worry if you don’t feel any vibrations at first

When I was first taught this pose I hung out there for 10 minutes willing my body to let go.  I had anxiety about the fact that I couldn’t do the pose “properly”! My muscles were really flexible from years of yoga and dancing, but my mind was more rigid.  It wasn’t until I softened my mind that I felt the vibration and relaxation.   There’s no competition, just let what happens happen and enjoy the peace and quiet.

For more information on how I can help with anxiety please have a look at my Anxiety page or have a look at my Services page which tells you all about the different techniques I use to help you recover (counselling, mindfulness and body psychotherapy).

If you would like some help with anxiety please feel free to give me a call on 0450 22 00 59 or  book online.

 

Warm regards

Sarah
x

 

 

 

The waterfall – a pose to help with anxiety was last modified: September 7th, 2017 by Sarah Tuckett